when its sixthirty in the morning

i love hardcore show. REAL hardcore shows. no metalcore beatdown bullshit. no hatemosh. no screamscream breebree. fuck you. i love hardcore. and its not about being as angry as possible. not about respect and crews. all of you have lost sight, probably never had a true sight on this. i am still here for the same reasons. despite how much our scene has changed. even if i go to one legit hardcore show a year. im still at all of them for the same reason. its where i feel i belong. im so at home. never will i lose sight on why im here. never will i let anger become apart of me. the world is ugly and sometimes i just cant take part in it and need to get away. and these nights are where its at. i dont care how corny this sounds. it cant come out any other way. or how naive it may seem. this keeps me alive. this keep me real. and i wont say for atleast right now because these times will live with me forever. time after time i wont be jaded by this dying scene. ill always welcome new kids because hopefully their here for the same reasons i started. despite the extreme difference in music, if their hearts are in it, thats golden. for anyone that doesnt want this world to consume them, does not want let anger consume them. let your aggression out in music and at these shows. stay positive. hahaha this makes me laugh be i love it. the feeling cannot be explained but its simply bliss.

Again I’ve lost myself in the morning rush.
I am going on few hours of sleep, it’s not enough.
It’s never enough for me.
But the night before I had my fists in the air.
With my feet on the floor,
I didn’t care about anything except the songs.
This is the only place I feel I truly belong.
So now I will say, fuck the mornings.
Tonight I’ll stay out late,
put my heart into something real and take the stage.
Let’s live our dreams right now.
So many people look for purpose in their lives,
and it feels good to say that I’ve found mine.
So many people have nothing to take pride in.
They don’t have shit. What the fuck do you have?
This is where we belong. This is all we know.
These songs are all I’ve got, with nowhere else to go.
This is where we belong. This is all we know.
These songs are all I’ve got. I’ll see you at the show.
When it’s six thirty in the morning and I can’t open my eyes, this is the only thing that keeps me from wanting to die.

im in trouble.

why is it so incredibly difficult to simply say you make me smile. you make me happy.

and everything im trying to type just isnt coming out how i want it so ill leave it at this.

corroded

this is so strange to me. maybe because i was never really able to have this because my past always creeps up on me and id end up where ive been for years. but this is new. its exciting. and it hurts. i dont know what to expect. i dont know how to feel. i dont know anything at all. and it feels so much better. its like walking around sanfrancisco. ive been here a couple times, but each time its new cause the people im with. i know main roads and signposts to take, but its always a second guess to where im at. instead of walking around tracy where i know where everything is. i know when the lights will turn red. and i know ive taken this road a million times before. well now that i think of it, frisco was a bad example cause i know it more than i think i do. lets just say its a new city to walk. i love metaphor's. 

anyways im fucking worried about you. i feel like jake when it comes to me. hahaha i love you jake. SOOO i know the path your taking i know the doubts your fighting and i probably could tell you exactly what your gonna do next. just remember to hold on close to what keeps you, you and never give up.

dilldroid

i dont really know what i want to type. i just feel i should. ive been in an angry mood towards everything the past few days. i dont like it, but it wont go away. getting in fights, verbally and physically continues to occur and i dont like it. ill be fine for a while and out of nowhere im back down, further down. like always i gotta keep my mind looking forward and my head above water. keeping busy these past few days have been keeping me away from my thoughts but i guess it catches up quickly.

im gonna do one of those 20 people things, but i dont know if it will be 20

i remember now why i got my tattoo. out of nowhere anyone you trust as a friend can easily stab you in the back for their own benefit. but hey, its only good business right?

ive wanted to say hi a few times. but i dont think its my place. your happy and you should be happy.

you dont even fucking know me. so if your gonna say shit say it to me. and say it fully, not some half ass bullshit.

your a fucking bitch. and i wish you went out to dish it out with me and not your sister.

i love you and im going to be here all the way during this and even after.


i dont even know what else i want to say. this blog is hella loppy nahmean?

fuckit

200 gallons ago

its weird to have such opposite feelings running through me at the same time.


simply said.

"i am both happy and sad and i'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

thank you charlie.

i killed that vampire!

its strange.
around this time of the year is when i feel the year ends. not new years. not my birthday. but now when summer starts. probably because for 12 years these days were the last days and the beginning to awesome. and i feel older and younger at the same time. older because another year has passed younger because its summer. and i dont think it matters how old you get, but you will always anticipate the weekend and wake up a little better on fridays.

blink

not selling that theyre diggin being back..


travis at 1:16
lovin life!




hella fast! i like it.





still i cant fucking wait!


a lot of nothing has been running through my head. and i think im too stubborn to let it get to me. i think thats good and bad. but i dont want to post that yet. lifes just too good right now.