im in trouble.

why is it so incredibly difficult to simply say you make me smile. you make me happy.

and everything im trying to type just isnt coming out how i want it so ill leave it at this.

corroded

this is so strange to me. maybe because i was never really able to have this because my past always creeps up on me and id end up where ive been for years. but this is new. its exciting. and it hurts. i dont know what to expect. i dont know how to feel. i dont know anything at all. and it feels so much better. its like walking around sanfrancisco. ive been here a couple times, but each time its new cause the people im with. i know main roads and signposts to take, but its always a second guess to where im at. instead of walking around tracy where i know where everything is. i know when the lights will turn red. and i know ive taken this road a million times before. well now that i think of it, frisco was a bad example cause i know it more than i think i do. lets just say its a new city to walk. i love metaphor's. 

anyways im fucking worried about you. i feel like jake when it comes to me. hahaha i love you jake. SOOO i know the path your taking i know the doubts your fighting and i probably could tell you exactly what your gonna do next. just remember to hold on close to what keeps you, you and never give up.

dilldroid

i dont really know what i want to type. i just feel i should. ive been in an angry mood towards everything the past few days. i dont like it, but it wont go away. getting in fights, verbally and physically continues to occur and i dont like it. ill be fine for a while and out of nowhere im back down, further down. like always i gotta keep my mind looking forward and my head above water. keeping busy these past few days have been keeping me away from my thoughts but i guess it catches up quickly.

im gonna do one of those 20 people things, but i dont know if it will be 20

i remember now why i got my tattoo. out of nowhere anyone you trust as a friend can easily stab you in the back for their own benefit. but hey, its only good business right?

ive wanted to say hi a few times. but i dont think its my place. your happy and you should be happy.

you dont even fucking know me. so if your gonna say shit say it to me. and say it fully, not some half ass bullshit.

your a fucking bitch. and i wish you went out to dish it out with me and not your sister.

i love you and im going to be here all the way during this and even after.


i dont even know what else i want to say. this blog is hella loppy nahmean?

fuckit

200 gallons ago

its weird to have such opposite feelings running through me at the same time.


simply said.

"i am both happy and sad and i'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

thank you charlie.

i killed that vampire!

its strange.
around this time of the year is when i feel the year ends. not new years. not my birthday. but now when summer starts. probably because for 12 years these days were the last days and the beginning to awesome. and i feel older and younger at the same time. older because another year has passed younger because its summer. and i dont think it matters how old you get, but you will always anticipate the weekend and wake up a little better on fridays.

blink

not selling that theyre diggin being back..


travis at 1:16
lovin life!




hella fast! i like it.





still i cant fucking wait!


a lot of nothing has been running through my head. and i think im too stubborn to let it get to me. i think thats good and bad. but i dont want to post that yet. lifes just too good right now.

when i come around

i kind of feel awake. like ive never been before. it may be that i actually got a good NIGHTS rest. or im realizing the little things that used to be just enough are still and even more than enough. and for once im not in my head too much, or not letting it get to the rest of me and my day. because there is still an immense amount of bullshit. and i constantly hear and find out more. anyways, whatever the hell the reason is for this, its awesome.

i cant wait for camping!

and there is no longer a scrubs episode i hate. my musical has come around.