200 gallons ago

its weird to have such opposite feelings running through me at the same time.


simply said.

"i am both happy and sad and i'm still trying to figure out how that could be."

thank you charlie.

i killed that vampire!

its strange.
around this time of the year is when i feel the year ends. not new years. not my birthday. but now when summer starts. probably because for 12 years these days were the last days and the beginning to awesome. and i feel older and younger at the same time. older because another year has passed younger because its summer. and i dont think it matters how old you get, but you will always anticipate the weekend and wake up a little better on fridays.

blink

not selling that theyre diggin being back..


travis at 1:16
lovin life!




hella fast! i like it.





still i cant fucking wait!


a lot of nothing has been running through my head. and i think im too stubborn to let it get to me. i think thats good and bad. but i dont want to post that yet. lifes just too good right now.

when i come around

i kind of feel awake. like ive never been before. it may be that i actually got a good NIGHTS rest. or im realizing the little things that used to be just enough are still and even more than enough. and for once im not in my head too much, or not letting it get to the rest of me and my day. because there is still an immense amount of bullshit. and i constantly hear and find out more. anyways, whatever the hell the reason is for this, its awesome.

i cant wait for camping!

and there is no longer a scrubs episode i hate. my musical has come around.

i dont

mean to be like that.

discovery.

i like free spirit girls. but i have trust issues.

this sucks.

ahaha

fahlayyshaah!

and i really just love getting the hell out of tracy. i love this town i really do, but fuck. (..and buttfucking.. haha sorry)

even if it wasnt that far, i mean i could literally SEE tracy from where we were. but it just felt so incredible to live. and i want to get out more, everyday, for days even weeks at a time. just give me a place to go. i dont care where. i will leave right now.

and i love being so damn offensive. i love walking amongst people who have a common hatred for something they dont even know. ahaha.

well dont get lonely now.

a sense of longing for the past always takes over me for the slightest reasons. old habits and present mindsets will always knock me down from knowing any sort of direction. and all i really want is someone to be there. someone to be mine. not really a significant other, just someone. and i want just enough money that i can save up and leave for a little time and get back with just the same amount i would if i didnt save it. i want to wake up in a different city, every morning for a little while. i want to slap my past in the face and i want to stop missing things i did and people i knew. for the most part im there and i can honestly say i dont want things back.

my goddamn tax money needs to come.

sigh

goddamn!

"Again I’ve lost myself in the morning rush.
I am going on few hours of sleep, it’s not enough.
It’s never enough for me.
But the night before I had my fists in the air.
With my feet on the floor,
I didn’t care about anything except the songs.
This is the only place I feel I truly belong.
So now I will say, fuck the mornings.
Tonight I’ll stay out late,
put my heart into something real and take the stage.
Let’s live our dreams right now.
So many people look for purpose in their lives,
and it feels good to say that I’ve found mine.
So many people have nothing to take pride in.
They don’t have shit. What the fuck do you have?
This is where we belong. This is all we know.
These songs are all I’ve got, with nowhere else to go.
This is where we belong. This is all we know.
These songs are all I’ve got. I’ll see you at the show.
When it’s six thirty in the morning and I can’t open my eyes, this is the only thing that keeps me from wanting to die."

and thats how it felt. and thats how it should be.

were all fucked

so fuck it up.


and in the long run of things i see that, we are all fucked. like danny said "dannys whole blog" well even past dealing with the changes that happen in our life, and handling every curve ball and downfall, were all still fucked. we will die. so why wait for tomorrow and plan the rest of your life. why not have today and forget about tomorrow, yesterday and everything else. maybe this thinking has gotten me where i am today, nowhere, but i am happy with where i am today and not struggling for tomorrow. i am more than fine with getting by. id rather just get by and enjoy today to its fullest until that very day comes where i walk to the light and piss on god.
ahahahaha


i just want my damn bike so it can look sexy with me on it, cause i mean lets be honest, without me its just a bike.
HAHA

and if bessie would quit being a bitch and over heating i could have my damn job. and with that bike being its nearly summer (fuck you tracy weather) i would seriously bike to work. yes tracy to ripon. i would.

and if i could have everything i would have my eevee. 8 of them.
so i can have vaporeon, jolteon, flareon, espeon, umbreon, leafeon, glaceon, and an un-evolved eevee to call my own.

yes. i just said that.