crazy

i need something in my life that i live for. some sort of schedule. or routine. as much as i hate it.. my daily commitments to callofduty 4 online, cigarettes, the never ending journey to find food in my house, failed plans, text messages and looking forward to every Tuesday at 9 o'clock for scrubs(WHICH FYI FOR THE PAST FEW WEEKS HAS NOT AIRED!!! DOUCHEBAGS) just isnt cutting it. i feel so numb from the nothing i actually have. i just moved my room in 5 different arrangements, just to put it back just how it was. my patience is weak. my aggression is high.

AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WHERE IN THE WORLD IS LITTLE MAN!!!

love of god.. aha

i feel for you.. i feel like im falling part too.
and you too man! but i think you atleast got some sleep.

so ive watched half the series of friends in a day.. and..
how the hell does phoebe get by?!
playing limericks in a coffee house for free?!
massages?!?!
what the hell..

once again bessie is fixed.
HER FEVER HAS RUNDOWN!

i dont care anymore what i do with the rest of my life. keep jobs, or settle for whatever. just bring it.

my motivation is dropping.
my caring is falling.

and i know in an hour or so, i will feel completely different about all of this.

i need consistency.

im going crazy